Do you become easily annoyed or frustrated by the behavior of others around you? Dr. Michael Karlfeldt, ND, PhD talks with life coach, Tiffane Falvey, CPC about what happens when we notice negative traits, behavior and emotions of others, and how to take advantage of these situations not only as an opportunity for growth and change within ourselves, but understanding it as a reflection of ourselves that we have the choice and power to change for the better.
Dr. Michael Karlfeldt: With me I have life coach, Tiffane. Tiffane, a lot of people are dealing with a lot of issues with anger, and then they get annoyed by other people that are angry. How are you able to resolve that, and how are people supposed to be helped in that situation?
Tiffane Falvey, CPC: That is an excellent question, and I think it is the million dollar question. So many people walk around feeling disempowered because someone else “caused” them to feel a certain way.
The truth is, nobody can ever cause you to feel a certain way. So the next question is: how can I empower myself to feel the way that I want to feel?
Dr. K: Exactly.
TF: It’s recognizing that whatever it is that you see in another person that’s caused you to feel this anger or pain or fear, is just another part of you, that you have not brought to your consciousness yet.
Dr. K: So you’re actually, looking at yourself as you’re seeing somebody else.
TF: Right. And I feel like God recognized that with the ego and everything that we needed to survive here on earth, He knew that we probably would have a hard time seeing our faults, and even our greatest strengths. Because a lot of us are scared to step into the greatest versions of ourselves. So what He did, was He allowed others who come into our lives to actually display the greatest strengths, and the greatest weaknesses.
Dr. K: So if there’s things that you really recognize in another person, those are the things that are really a reflection of yourself, even if it is grace, or if it is you are feeling someone is annoying in a certain way, these are things you can relate to yourself.
TF: Right. So if there’s somewhere to begin with, I would say to begin with the strengths. So, when you see someone that you really care about, and you really love, or you are envious of, a great thing to do is say, “What is it I really like about this person?” And then start learning how to display it yourself, because it’s just unrecognized. And it’s there within you. Because you do not contain the consciousness to see something that you don’t have. So start there. Start with what feels good.
Dr. K: Wonderful. What I’d really like to do with next episode, is to go through a few practical tips how people can recognize what’s going on within themselves by seeing another person, and how they can then, change that.
TF: Yes, that will be very fun!
Dr. K: Perfect!
Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash.