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Do you ever get the sense that your self-limiting perceptions or emotions are getting in the way of your own happiness?

Dr. Michael Karlfeldt, ND, PhD visits with Tiffane Falvey, CPC, about how to identify thought patterns and beliefs such as guilt or fear, and the idea that you can “re-train” your mind to engage in healthy thoughts and beliefs to allow yourself to experience happiness and fulfillment. 

Dr. K: With me I have life coach Tiffane. A lot of us we want to be happy and we think that is the best thing in our lives. But there are things that can interfere with that. What are some of the things you’ve seen?  

Tiffane Falvey, CPC: I’ve seen guilt come up quite a bit. People feel guilty for indulging in what brings them happiness.

Dr. K: Really?

TF: Yes. And at the bottom of the guilt is always a program. We all have programs and we’ve spoken about that on previous shows. If your programming says that you’re not allowed to explore happiness or indulgence until you’ve acquired a certain amount of wealth, or you’ve done a certain amount of work, then you’re going to perpetually run this program. 

So it doesn’t matter when you’re finished doing the work, you’re probably will never indulge in the happy.

Dr. K: So you still feel that guilt no matter what happens. You know that you’re supposed to feel happy, and you strive for feeling happy, but you’re always playing that guilt feeling, so to say.

TF: Yeah. So for example, the gentleman says, “I need to work this amount of hours in order to feel like I can spend this amount of time with my family.” 

So he plans this overnight camping trip because he’s going to spare this amount of time to hang out with his family. And he finds himself guilty that he’s not at work, so he’s worrying the entire time that he’s not at work, which actually creates more of a deficit for his happiness because he’s not present, doing what it is he planned to do. So it works against him.

Dr. K: So how does one get through that? How does one change that thinking? Even though you know it’s guilt, it’s still hard to reprogram what in your mind, isn’t it?

TF: It’s a process. And that’s the process that I teach clients to do. They go through that process of re-programming – first identifying that there’s even a program there. They’ve gotten so used to it, the program is so ingrained in them, that they can’t figure out where the programming ends, and where they begin. It just becomes very natural.

Dr. K: So you don’t even know that the guilt is there initially.

TF: No.

Dr. K: Or the fear is there, or whatever emotion it is that’s coming. Because a lot of us don’t feel worthy enough to be happy.

TF: Exactly.

Photo by Danny Shives on Unsplash.